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ADVICE FOR WANNABE FASHIONISTAS

Sathya Saran  (click here to know more about this blogger)

Oh please! May I (as someone who actually hurts when I see a badly dressed person) offer these little bits of advice to wannabe fashionistas? These fashion statements that follow are not imagined. They have been seen and noted and each of them resulted in my eyes feeling decidedly sore!

 

Seen in Goa: A swinging summer dress. Lovely.. peach coloured.. stopping sort of the knees. Made the wearer —- who was this side of plump — look girlish and cute. No complaints there. But to pair them with ankle high-heeled black boots especially when the heat was beading her brow... oof ! A sure no-no!

 

Seen at the airport: Yellow T-shirt and blue well-creased jeans worn with red-heeled slip-ons and red shiny bag swinging from shoulder… and red and yellow rubber bands holding hair in a pony tail. Newly wed status screaming through bangles on both wrists! And LV monogrammed strolley. Please!

 

Ladies who lunch please note: Black lycra top over black tights and black heels are fine if you live on lettuce and water. But the weekly doses of biryani or Thai curry and rice followed by chocolate mousse will show through and sorry it's not as becoming as you think.

 

To almost everyone: Jeggings, leggings and treggings are fine on reed-like bodies. Anyone with real curves needs to invest in a full length mirror —three-angled mirrors actually — and pass the bulges test before wearing any of the above with short cropped tops. Spare a thought for lookers on.. please!

 

For those who love Fab India or Anokhi cottons and straight kurtas or kurtis and the like — that includes me: Please iron cotton before wearing. If you must wear the knit pull-ons that double up for churidars.. check your kurta is not cut to show off a tightly encased butt. Unless you are aiming to.. of course. in which case.. I have no comment.

 

Sari wearers please note: Black rubber soled platforms with thick straps may make you feel safe in all terrains but look gosh-awful especially with a sari. Remember saris are about grace and fluidity!!

 

To the lady at the mall: Ankle straps and Roman sandals are best on slim ankles. Don't unnecessarily call attention where it will not get you compliments.

 

To the pretty young teen walking to office: A one-shoulder top even over formal pants is NOT office wear.

 

To her friend- colleague- travel companion: See-through white pants displaying panty line? Best hidden under a long top. Try a thigh-length red top… can be quite an eye catcher!

 

For all new nail spa enthusiasts: Bling on nails is distracting at best… irritating if in excess. If you feel the urge to pile it all on… desist.

 

Especially for those with long nails: If you don't have the time to keep your nail polish fresh… leave them nude! A good buffing adds eloquence to your hands.

 

To shopaholics — me included: Just because it is on sale and it's your size does not mean it was meant for you!

 

College students please note: Your hair can wear the out-of-bed look but rubber chappals are best left under your bed.

 

Fashion school students please note: For heaven's sake look the part you have chosen to play!

 

This one is for the guys in fashion schools: Earrings are cool but leather jackets don't look good in class. Especially when the air conditioning needs to be on.

 

All lovers of shorts and hot pants: Wear them with aplomb as long as you have the legs for them.

 

And all lovers of minis: Please learn how to sit in one. Practice before a mirror if you must or ask Mom to help!

 

Professionals Alert: Lacy lingerie under nylon blouses? Which role are YOU playing?

 

Dress as you like! Confidence is a great thing and being comfortable about your body is also wonderful. But please.. dressing well can only add style to your statement. No harm in that is there? Readers!! If you have your own list of No-No that you have noted… do share in this space.
 

SATHYA SARAN
FORMER FEMINA EDITOR SATHYA SARAN
 
26-MAY-2018
 
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